Relationships Aren’t Perfect: How to Grow Together Through the Stages 關係不完美，但我們可以一起成長
Relationships are a journey, not a destination. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why do we feel so close one moment and so distant the next?” or “Why do we keep getting stuck on the same problems?”—you’re not alone. Every relationship goes through stages. And with each stage comes joy, challenges, and opportunities for growth.
If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure where your relationship is heading, counseling can help. Here’s what you might be experiencing and how I can support you along the way.
1. The Honeymoon Stage – Everything Feels Perfect… For Now
At the beginning, it’s all butterflies and excitement. You can’t get enough of each other, and everything feels easy. But underneath, there can be a quiet worry: “What if this doesn’t last?” or “Will they still love me when they see my flaws?”
How I Can Help:
I create a space for you to talk openly about your fears and hopes for this new connection. It’s about building trust, honesty, and a deeper emotional bond so you’re starting off on the right foot.
2. Reality Hits – Noticing the Differences
Suddenly, those little quirks you found cute before start to feel frustrating. Maybe you keep arguing about the same things or feel like you’re not being understood. You might think, “Why does it feel like we’re on opposite sides?”
What You Might Be Feeling:
• Tired of the same arguments.
• Misunderstood or emotionally distant.
• Frustrated that your needs aren’t being met.
How Counseling Can Help:
With Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I help you step back and see what’s really happening under the surface. Together, we’ll explore those patterns—like why certain conversations always lead to a fight—and create a new way of communicating that feels honest and safe.
3. Stability Stage – Comfort or Complacency?
By now, you’ve settled into a rhythm. You know each other’s habits and quirks. But maybe things feel… flat. You might catch yourself thinking, “We’re more like roommates than partners.”
What You Might Be Feeling:
• Disconnected emotionally or physically.
• Longing for the spark that brought you together.
• Like you’re living parallel lives.
How Counseling Can Help:
I help couples reconnect by exploring the emotional distance and understanding what you both need to feel loved again. Sometimes, it’s the small changes—like showing appreciation or planning quality time—that reignite the connection you miss.
4. Commitment Stage – Life Changes Bring New Challenges
Making big decisions together—moving in, marriage, having a baby—can bring excitement but also stress. Maybe you feel overwhelmed, worried about growing apart, or uncertain if you’re ready.
What You Might Be Feeling:
• Pressure to meet your partner’s expectations.
• Anxiety about the next step in your relationship.
• Fear of change or losing yourself.
How Counseling Can Help:
Change is hard, even when it’s exciting. I provide a supportive space to help you and your partner align your goals, manage the stress of transitions, and build a stronger foundation together.
5. Growing Together – Supporting Each Other While Being Yourself
This is the stage where you’re not just partners—you’re a team. But sometimes, one or both of you might feel like you’ve lost your individuality or that you’re growing in different directions.
What You Might Be Feeling:
• “I feel like I’ve given up parts of myself for this relationship.”
• “We don’t seem to share the same dreams anymore.”
• “I love them, but I don’t feel understood.”
How Counseling Can Help:
I work with couples to balance personal growth and connection. You’ll explore how to support each other’s dreams without losing what makes your relationship special. It’s about staying close while growing as individuals, too.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Relationships aren’t easy. If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or overwhelmed, you don’t have to figure it out alone. As a Mandarin-speaking counselor in Vancouver, I work with partners from all walks of life—whether you’re navigating cultural differences, struggling with communication, or healing from past hurts.
Together, we can:
• Break free from negative patterns and improve communication.
• Rebuild trust and emotional intimacy.
• Create a relationship where both of you feel seen, heard, and supported.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Relationships take effort, but the growth is worth it. If you’re ready to reconnect and build a healthier, stronger bond, I’m here to help.
Schedule Your Free 20-Minute Consultation Today
關係是一段旅程，而不是終點。如果您曾經問過自己：「為什麼我們有時候感覺如此親密，而有時候卻如此疏遠？」或是「為什麼我們總是卡在同樣的問題上？」——請相信，您並不孤單。每段關係都會經歷不同的階段，而每個階段都帶來了喜悅、挑戰，以及成長的機會。
如果您感到困惑、疏離，或者不確定您的關係正在走向何方，心理諮詢可以幫助您。以下是您可能正在經歷的情況，以及我如何在這段旅程中支持您。
1. 蜜月期 – 一切都看似完美……但能持續多久？
在開始時，一切都充滿了激情與興奮。您們彼此間無法離開對方，感覺一切都很簡單。但在內心深處，可能會有一些隱隱的擔憂：「如果這感覺不會持久怎麼辦？」或者「當他們看到我的缺點時，還會愛我嗎？」
我如何幫助您：
我提供一個安全的空間，讓您能夠坦誠地討論對這段新關係的恐懼與期待。這是關於建立信任、誠實和更深層情感連結的過程，幫助您們在起步時奠定堅實的基礎。
2. 現實來臨 – 開始注意到差異
突然間，那些您曾經覺得可愛的小習慣開始變得令人沮喪。也許您們總是在同樣的事情上爭吵，或者覺得彼此無法理解。您可能會想：「為什麼感覺我們在對立的兩端？」
您可能的感受：
厭倦了反覆的爭吵。
感覺被誤解或情感上疏離。
對需求無法得到滿足感到沮喪。
心理諮詢如何幫助：
透過情緒聚焦治療（EFT），我幫助您們退一步，看看表面之下真正發生了什麼。我們會一起探索那些模式，比如為什麼某些對話總是導致爭吵，並創造一種新的溝通方式，讓人感到誠實和安全。
3. 穩定期 – 安穩還是安於現狀？
到這個階段，您們已經形成了自己的節奏。您們彼此了解對方的習慣和特點。但也許事情開始變得平淡。您可能會發現自己在想：「我們更像室友，而不是伴侶。」
您可能的感受：
情感或身體上的疏離。
渴望重新找回最初吸引彼此的火花。
感覺像是在過著平行的生活。
心理諮詢如何幫助：
我幫助伴侶重新建立連結，探索情感上的距離，並了解彼此需要什麼來再次感到被愛。有時候，這些是小小的改變，比如表達感激或計劃有品質的相處時間，這些可以重新點燃您們渴望的連結。
4. 承諾階段 – 生活改變帶來新的挑戰
一起做出重大決定——同居、結婚、生孩子——可能帶來興奮，但也會帶來壓力。您可能會感到不知所措，擔心疏遠彼此，或不確定自己是否準備好了。
您可能的感受：
感到需要滿足伴侶的期望。
對關係的下一步感到焦慮。
害怕改變或失去自我。
心理諮詢如何幫助：
即使是令人興奮的變化也很困難。我提供一個支持的空間，幫助您和伴侶對齊目標，管理過渡期的壓力，並共同建立更堅實的基礎。
5. 共同成長 – 支持彼此，同時成為自己
在這個階段，您們不僅僅是伴侶，更像是一個團隊。但有時，您們中的一方或雙方可能感到失去了自我，或者覺得彼此的成長方向不同。
您可能的感受：
「我覺得為了這段關係放棄了自己的一部分。」
「我們似乎不再分享同樣的夢想。」
「我愛他們，但感覺沒有被理解。」
心理諮詢如何幫助：
我與伴侶合作，在個人成長與關係連結之間找到平衡。您們將探索如何支持彼此的夢想，而不失去讓關係變得特別的東西。這是關於在成為個體的同時，也能保持親密。
您不需要孤軍奮戰
關係並不容易。如果您感到困惑、疏離或不知所措，您不需要一個人去摸索。作為一位位於溫哥華的國語心理諮詢師，我與來自各種背景的伴侶合作——無論是跨越文化差異、面臨溝通困難，還是治癒過去的傷痛。
我們可以一起：
擺脫負面模式並改善溝通。
重建信任和情感親密。
創造一段讓您們雙方都感到被看見、被聽見、被支持的關係。
準備好踏出第一步了嗎？
關係需要努力，但成長是值得的。如果您準備好重新連結，並建立更健康、更牢固的關係，我在這裡支持您。
